Exhaustion or Thawing?
When Deep Fatigue Is a Sign of Healing
I’ve been tired lately.
Ok, I have been tired for years!
Not just a little tired. Not “I stayed up too late” tired. This is a full-body, soul-level, kind of tired.
How am I still upright?
At first, my medical mind kicked in. Fatigue? Night sweats? Could it be my lymphatic system? Am I missing something serious? I know the symptoms, I know what to look for — but this didn’t feel like illness. It felt… deeper.
It felt like collapse.
The truth is, I’ve been going hard for a long time. Like many women I know, I’ve lived years in what I now understand was freeze mode while I still accomplished what needed to be done. I wasn’t resting, I was making sure my daughters were healthy and safe, I was attending to household chores, I was working long hours, I didn’t have time to be tired
I was stuck
And when we’re stuck like that, we don’t feel the full weight of our lives, not all at once. We’re just surviving. We’re making lists, taking care of others, pushing through.
But lately — especially after returning from a beautiful, emotionally rich retreat — I began to feel it all. The tiredness, the low appetite, the stiffness from being still too long. I slept 11 hours one night and still wanted more. I wasn’t motivated to unpack or clean my home or “get back on track.” I just wanted to lie down.
Not out of laziness, out of deep, cellular need.
Finally, in the midst of this collapse…today… I’ve come to believe this might not be exhaustion in the way we usually think of it. I am not lazy. I am not ill. My fatigue is warranted, understandable, and so very needed in order to allow myself to heal, thaw.
What Is The Thaw?
The thaw is what happens when our nervous system starts to emerge from long-held patterns of freeze mode, depression, or even shame— those times in life when we were overwhelmed, shut down, numbed out, or
Simply surviving
When the freeze begins to lift, our bodies don’t leap into joy and action. More often, they collapse. They finally let down the weight they’ve been holding for so long.
That might look like:
Long stretches of sleep (even after “enough” rest)
Loss of motivation to do the everyday tasks
A feeling of emotional vulnerability or quiet sadness
Physical heaviness, stiffness, or disorientation
A lack of creative inspiration
If you’re experiencing this, you’re not broken. You’re reorienting. This is your system learning that rest is safe again. Your body is searching for homeostasis, your nervous system is calming down. This calming is unfamiliar and, I might add, a bit scary. We feel safe when ready to pounce at danger so when relaxation sets in our bodies sense that we are not prepared, we are not safe.
Even in exhaustion, there is something soft growing.
Coming home from my retreat, I felt cracked open in a good way — but also deeply tired. And life didn’t pause for me to integrate it all. A new i-Phone package was delivered by fed ex — tampered with, phone missing. Customer service hurdles, tech issues, a very hot day, app passwords I couldn’t remember. A day meant for rest became a carousel of stress. And somehow I also brewed a beautiful tea.
Mint, rose, orange peel, passion flower, ginkgo. I drank it chilled and thought: “This is my first offering for Her Wellness Within.” Amid the frustration, a seed was planted — just like the calendula I put into pots and chamomile seeds I put into to the earth that very evening.
If You’re Tired, Let It Be Okay
If you’re in this place — where sleep isn’t fixing it, where you’re not motivated to do your normal routine, where you wonder if something is wrong — I invite you to ask:
What if nothing is wrong?
What if your body is finally safe enough to rest?
What if you’re not lazy — but thawing?
Sometimes healing doesn’t look like glowing skin and productivity. Sometimes it looks like naps, a messy house, missed deadlines, canceled appointments and letting your inbox go. Sometimes it looks like sitting on your porch with your dogs while a mug of herbal tea warms your hand and your soul at the same time.
What if you just give in to the fatigue?
Today, I told myself: “Just give in to the fatigue. If your body wants to sleep, let it.” And something shifted. Not everything — but enough to feel like I’m listening. Enough to trust that this phase is still part of the journey. Enough to lift my spirits and write this for you to read.
For gentle yoga practices, yoga nidra, tea blends and essential oil recipes see our other posts.
